Once More With Feeling (Potterlock) Chapter 12

WARNING: Future chapters in this story will contain slash and some male on male sexual content. If this bothers you, then please don't read the story. Thank you!!

PLEASE READ THE AN, THANKS!

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But it wasn't five months. It was eight - eight months, one week, three days, and two hours actually- since John left to return to service. Eight months, one week, three days, two hours, and ten seconds since Sherlock last heard from him. He could understand being away for longer than he was supposed to be, even though he was miserable with how long it had been, but why hadn't he been in touch? No emails, no calls, not even letters. He was completely in the dark.

At first he was angry, but as time kept moving, he couldn't stay that way. Deep down he knew that his greatest fears had been realised, but he never let himself fully accept it. Since wouldn't have been notified (no one knew that they were together, neither the army nor John's family), and since he really didn't want to know, he just let it all go. Retreated back into his cold shell and just focused on work. Without actually thinking about what it really meant, he'd accepted the fact that John was not coming back.

It was six months in when that happened, and so he packed up the flat and moved to a cheaper place in central London. His Auror duties kept him busy, and he'd even gone back to the wizarding world a few times to try and make peace with his family. He didn't know why he didn't just return completely, leaving the Muggle world behind. But there was always a faint sense of hope...

It was on this day, eight months, one week, three days, two hours, and one minute since they'd last seen each other, that Sherlock was in St. Bart's lab working on something for a case. Magic hadn't been able to give him the results he was looking for, so he'd decided to try a bit of Muggle science on the evidence to see what he could find. He was peering into a microscope, when he heard the door open and two sets of footsteps walking in, one walking with a cane. He didn't bother looking up.

“Hey Sherlock, there's someone I'd like you to meet,” said one of them, and Sherlock recognised the voice of Mike Stamford, a Muggle he'd met through using the labs in the hospital.

“Mike, I'm quite busy at the mo-” The dark-haired man had lifted his gaze as he was speaking, but froze when he saw who was standing with the Muggle man. His emotions ran with sudden wild energy. Anger, hurt, relief, happiness, disbelief even. It was a long moment of silence while they stared at each other, until Sherlock finally swallowed the lump in his throat and said in a slightly choked voice, “Actually, there's no need to introduce us. We've already met.”

Sherlock walked over and stood in front of John, meeting his eyes which had dimmed so much since they were teenagers. John looked up, with surprise that he was sure mirrored his own, and so much guilt. But this time, Sherlock just couldn't forgive him. He curled his hand into a fist and punched him in the face before gathering up his coat and scarf. “Good day, gentlemen,” he said in a cold voice and hurried out of the lab.

Tears were welled in his eyes before he'd even reached the front doors, and he tried to get a cab, but there were none in the area. He swore, looking around for a place where he could Apparate in secrecy, but there were too many people around. And before he could get away, he heard the gimpy steps of John hobbling after him.

“Sherlock! Please, Sherlock, wait!” he was calling, but he didn't turn around, starting to hurry towards the street. He was about to cross when he heard a thud and the clatter of John's cane against the pavement. “Dammit...”

Something about the tone of John's voice made him stop. It was so broken. He turned around, seeing John hunched over in defeat. Part of Sherlock, well most of him, felt like he deserved it. How could he just come back like this? How could he leave him for so long with no word one what was going on? Sherlock was so angry he wanted to shout and punch John and cry. But the other part of him, that part that would always love John no matter what, made him step closer and extend a hand down to help him up.

“No, I've got it,” John snapped, probably more harsh than he'd meant, but his own voice was cracking with tears. He was useless now. Sherlock probably wouldn't want him anymore, even if he hadn't been gone all this time.

Sherlock let his hand fall back to his side as John stood with some difficulty. He looked miserable, the space where Sherlock's fist had made contact already swelling up, but he tried not to let that make him forget how upset he was.

John sighed. "I just got back to the country two days ago,” he said. “I went to the flat, but...When I saw that you had left, I thought you wouldn't want to hear from me.”

“Well, isn't that to be expected when you turn up three and a half months after you said?” Sherlock said, thankfully succeeding in keeping his voice from catching.

"I'm sorry,” John said, but even he knew that that could never make up for it. “We were on a mission. Top secret."

Sherlock laughed mirthlessly. "And I was supposed to just assume that that was why we haven't spoken since you left?”

“I wanted to call you, but they said there was no time.” John looked down at the ground. “It was terrifying, Sherlock. I thought I'd never get to see you again. I almost didn't.” Sherlock's eyes darted quickly to John's cane and he nodded. “I got shot. Nearly bled out. It took me two months to recover and then they gave me honourable discharge. I would have called you from the hospital, but they couldn't bring me here in my condition, so I was treated over there.”

Sherlock didn't say anything. He was still furious, but that little piece of him that loved John was starting to soften him up. He was glad that John was here to be angry at.

When he didn't respond, however, John continued. “I missed you...so much, Sherlock. You were the only thing that kept me going. And it's awful, but it took nearly dying to finally realise how I've treated you. You were right. I was selfish, and now I've cost the love of my life because of it. I put you through so much. I should have never expected you to just sit by and wait for me. It wasn't fair to you. So...I understand if you won't take me back.” His shoulders slumped and he hung his head, fully expecting Sherlock to walk away.

So many times, Sherlock had thought about it, about the way that any other person in a relationship like theirs would react. Many of them wouldn't have even stayed to this point, and certainly not after. But in spite of it all, in spite of all his negative feelings, he still loved John so much. The man was his other half, the only person who could ever understand him, and he didn't want to lose him. Not when he finally had the chance to keep him forever. John had promised that after his stint in the army that he wouldn't be going anywhere else, and Sherlock intended to hold him to that.

He stepped closer to John and put a hand on his shoulder. John lifted his head, staring up at him with a slightly trembling lip. He looked weathered, like if Sherlock were to reject him that he would just crumble to dust. “You're not going to go anywhere else?” the taller man asked.

John's eyes widened. “Nowhere.”

“Not going to go back to school or join another branch of the armed forces?”

“I'm done with the Muggle world,” he said with a sudden finality.

But the final test was for Sherlock to look into John's eyes, to find the truth. And though they were so dim and so tired, he could see his honesty. And that was all he wanted.

Sherlock finally let a small smile break on his face, and he wrapped his arms around John. He felt all the tension in the other's body release as the embrace was returned.

“Oh God, I missed you,” John whispered into his shirt.

“I missed you too,” Sherlock said, breathing in deeply. “I thought you were dead.”

John pulled away and looked up at him with guilt. “I'm so sorry...You have no idea how miserable I feel when I think about what I've done to you. I don't deserve you.”

Sherlock just smiled. “Well, you've got me. So just be grateful.” He chuckled a little and John did as well.

"May I kiss you?" the now ex-soldier asked.

"You and your questions,” Sherlock said as he bent to connect their lips for the first time in so long. He pulled back after a long moment and pressed his forehead to John's.

John was smiling now, and he looked down at Sherlock's hand. The ring was gone from his finger. “Did you...”

Sherlock followed John's gaze and then shook his head. He pulled a chain out from under his shirt, the ring hanging from it. “I expect a grand wedding after all this.”

John laughed, relief colouring the sound. “I'll book Buckingham Palace.” He kissed Sherlock again and sighed happily. “You know, I mean it. I'm through with Muggles. I should have stuck to being a wizard.”

"So you want to go back to the magical world?" Sherlock asked.

"It would be nice. I miss it," John told him with a smile.

Sherlock beamed. “We could get jobs at Hogwarts. It would be just like the old days.”

John grinned as he thought about it. “Eating in the Great Hall, visiting Hogsmeade on the weekends, going to Quidditch matches...I think that would be perfect.”

“I agree.” Sherlock closed his eyes. “I love you, so, so much.”

“I love you, too,” John said. He shifted a little, his leg starting to hurt. “Um...Do you mind if we sit somewhere?”

Sherlock opened his eyes again. “I have a better idea.” He slipped his arm behind John's knees and picked him up, as the blonde gave a surprised squeak and wrapped his arms around Sherlock's neck.

"Sherlock! Don't do that without warning me first!” But John was laughing, and he leaned into Sherlock's chest.

“Apologies. But it's a long walk home,” Sherlock said as he started off in the direction of his new flat.

“You're taking me home?” John asked, grinning.

“Well, it wouldn't do us any good to be in separate places, would it?” Sherlock pecked him on the cheek. “It won't be home for long, though. I'll tell my landlady that I'll be moving out and we can find ourselves a nice cottage in Hogsmeade.”

John hummed and closed his eyes as he rested his head on Sherlock's shoulder. “Perfect.”

Sherlock smiled as he looked down at John. Even though the road had been long, far too long, and miserable at times, even though there had been tears and broken promises and pain, even though the odds had never been with them, it was worth it to know that finally, finally it was over. They had the rest of their lives and they had each other, and no matter what they did now, it couldn't be anything but perfect.